from hommodolars & vivalaanarquia, translated by war on society (unfortunately the ability to translate all of the original humor is beyond our capacities):
About the supposed “attempt to rob” BancoEstado on December 21
At around 9pm we arrived magically with 3 white vans with turbo-nitro acceleration, around 10 to 12 crazy hooded individuals bent on robbing those juicy ATMs full of painted paper (yeah!!) and well, as soon as we started taking out our gear we realized we brought the shitty chain, the kind you get at the fair and it began to dawn on us that misfortune was coming… then we proceeded to wrap the ATMs and hook them up to one of the vans, all this in plain view of the naive worthless sheeple… while the rest of the individuals blocked the street, looking like those hooded hooligans who fight the police in the marches, the Alfa 2K van made the first pull, and nothing… the second and the chaiin broooke!! And then we said… “Uh oh… we are in trouble…” and without knowing what to do it hit us that on the corner there was watching us the famous skinhead-Nazi bomb-seller!! he’d gotten out of the joint. Oh, sweet! with that our frustration led us to a card that had remained trapped in the ATM from some citizen who we butchered on the spot, we took out 200 grand and said “Hey you nazibomber!” to which he responded “Yeaaa, wassup?” “We’re in need of your merchandise!” “Alright” and then out of his backpack he handed over for the modest sum of 199K a fire extinguisher full of black powder with a homemade short fuse… Then he ran off and we lit the fuse, throwing it inside the BancoEstado and we ran toward our white nitro-turbo vans, which took off like DeLoreans and carried us to safe houses guarded by FARC and Al-Qaeda bodyguards.
And now what really happened on the night of December 21 and not what the press and police creatively and deliriously invented:
A group of hooded individuals set out and went with the intention of burning the BancoEstado in front of the sinister BBVA, at which we proceeded to block the street, break its windows with blunt objects and enter it to douse it with about 5 liters of gasoline on the ATMs and on the floor, because this enclosed space had an explosive reaction to increase the gaseous volume of the fuel above the closed space of the bank, which the was the real reason for the “explosion” that was heard; it was nothing more than the gas catching fire in such a small closed space, in addition to bursting the glass, left the ATMs with irreparable damages, the damn citizenry left with its ass in its hands, and the police with crossed arms. There were no arrests nor traces…
We take this opportunity to make a violent cry of war against those who have imprisoned us forever in this society-world, in its schools, its prisons, its universities, its jobs, its stigmas, its families, its sexes…
We are for the destruction of the existent civilization and every one of its vestiges in the powdery ashes!!
Long live chaos!! and may anarchy exist in every second and breath of our life!!
¡Freedom to Tortuga and to Mono and to all the prisoners in the world!
Fire to the prison and its cities!
